Takamina’s Undressed Honest Words To Everyone

Tommy Kono April 25, 2012

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I’m determined. I’ll do everything what I can do make Takamina’s 21th year of her life the happiest one. I sometimes forget that she has been loaded all the pressure on her shoulder as a captain of team A, which means almost the most important role in this whole AKB project. Can I confess a little personal thought on this blog? It’s not easy to keep continuing this blog when I have a full-time job as a CPA. I work whole day and after that I write whole night on AKB. Sometimes I feel desperate like “who in the world wants to read about AKB in English? Those people read in Japanese.” or “There’re tons of forums and blogs already which focuses on light contents. Who in the world wants to read FULL-COVERAGE (or heavy contents) on foreign idols when they even can’t go to their concert in Japan.” Well… but still I keep writing about AKB, never losing hope one day AKB’s popularity will spread through non-Japanese-speaking people and my website can be a little help for that. But who give me a power to move forward, keep holding on my little dream is none other than AKB members themselves. They gave me so much power to live thorough tough period of my life, and since I want people in all over the world to know them and feel the same passion for them, get courage and power from them as I do all the time, I am moving my hands, writing all to share AKB love with you. Sorry to stray to far from the topic… At her birthday celebration festival at AKB thatre in Akihabara, Acchan sent a letter to Takamina, which made everyone burst into tears. Acchan rarely express her real feelings, but since this was the special occasion for her and Takamina as Acchan finally announced her graduation after one year since she confessed her intention to Takamina, Acchan unveiled her honest emotion, which usually hidden behind layers of milky white, and wrote her message exuding her love and gratitude to Takamina.

In response to Acchan’s letter and everyone’s warm and touching message for her, Takamina also being naked, confessed her honest thought and emotion from the bottom of her soul.

Note: Since she got so emotional at the stage, her remark may seem to be hard to understand in some parts, but because it also reflects how strong she feels people who support her, I tried to leave original texture of her words, which was not well-structured but full of emotion.

Takamina to everyone

“I have countless of things I want to tell…. I think we had so many things…”

“It’s passed 7 years since I joined AKB when I was 14. I don’t know whether these years felt short or long, but when Tokyo Dome Concert was announced, honestly I couldn’t help but thinking ‘If only our former (1gen) teammates were with us together…’. I wanted to stand on the stage of Tokyo Dome together with them. But I understand the way people realize their dream is a different from person to person.”

“(Responding to everyone’s message to Takamina) All of members are great. They are understanding me, I thought. They know I’m not a strong person, actually. Actually I can’t stand on this stage alone. I had a lot of good things since I joined AKB. Things really made me feel so happy to be in AKB.”

“But I had things made me feel that it’s so hard to live. 2 times since I joined AKB. First time was… I don’t tell. I don’t tell a lot about this…”

“This thing happened again… and honestly, I seriously thought I’d better to leave AKB.
But the reason I thought like this was because I love AKB so much. I thought my being in AKB will cause trouble to everybody.
I caused so much worry for fans, staffs and members…
I really thought I worried everyone. I thought how life is tough to endure, and figured I could be eased if I exited from AKB.
But I couldn’t escape. Because there’re you, I couldn’t escape from AKB. At the toughest period of my life, there’re members, staffs and fans who said to me ‘Hold on, Ganbare.'”

“honestly, I don’t want you to see me being weak.
Smile when we have fun things, continue to give everyone courage and cheer, but life is not only about fun things… there’re a lot of difficult things…
I felt so much mortified and frustrated….
But when I look behind, when I was about to go back, I saw everyone behind, telling me ‘Go forward’….
Thay told me ‘Don’t leave!’ at that time…
They sent me so many comments on my blog, which I rarely update… I found there’re so many people who pretend they don’t know when they actually know…
I felt it was tough. Honestly I felt it was so painful to be given supportive push on my back….
But because I have a thing that I want to do, I still want to be here.”

“Nothing left in me if I leave AKB when I have so much support, after all.

The reason I have fans, members and staffs here is because I’m here, and if I weren’t, I l would lose everything.”

“Thus, as much as you gave me support, I want to give you my support.
So many people said to me when I will make solo debut, so many… Maybe we need to wait a little more, but I promise you I will.
So I want you to wait until then, I want you to be with me.”

“I’m sorry I’m actually not a strong person despite I give you an impression I’m strong.
And thank you so much for all the feeling you gave to me. I will be with AKB a little more.
I know there gonna be a lot of farewells. But I’m here a little more and take steps forward, and take care of my members.”
I didn’t intend to tell these kind of things, but this is my honest gratitude to you.
Because of your existence, I can be here. Thank you so much.”